The site of Glastonbury Festival has been left in much better state than in previous years. The festival took a bold move in 2019 and banned the sale of single use plastic and foil. It has clearly made a remarkable difference to the amount of rubbish left behind. Furthermore, the Leave No Trace pledge seems to have had a huge impact as the organisers report today that over 99% of tents were taken home. No doubt this Rubbish Poem will soon be dated and irrelevant.
My words paint a grim picture, and Michael Eavis didn’t like it much when he heard it. However, I have to give praise where it is due. The organisers do a great job. There is an epic clean up operation as an army of litter pickers and recycling teams scour the site to pick up and sort every little thing. It is remarkable to see the land restored to it’s glory after the great Glastonbury pilgrimage each year. Big up the litter pickers!
They say ‘Love the Farm and Leave no Trace,
But you can’t be arsed
Cos you are off your face.
You’ve been partying for days,
But look at the state of the place.

An abandoned refugee camp;
They came, they trashed, they left.
All the litter for the pickers.
All the tat for the tatters.
All the food for the seagulls,
if they could get it out of the packets.

Muddy boots in the car park,
In almost every parking space.
All the trolleys broken in the race
To be first out the gates,
And the land fills up with our disgrace.

We make up lies to soothe us
Like we can recycle, upcycle, re-use this.
Make a thousand go carts
Out of all the spare parts
And send them to migrants.

With sleeping bags, roll mats,
Cookers and camping chairs.
Broken boots and muddy flairs.

Someone will pick up the bits,
Cool boxes full of piss,
Who the hell does a dump,
In the middle of their tent?
A steaming monument to represent
the level of descent they underwent.

It’s not rocket surgery,
We were potty trained in nursery,
But you can buy more with acollege bursary,
Buy one get one free in a throw away society.
But people are starving in a time of austerity,
And lunching out your stuff ain’t donating to charity,
So lets’s get some clarity …

Everyone’s knackered by Monday.
So why don’t you clear up on Sunday?
Put your stuff in the lock up,
Party all night, ready to go at sun up,
You can sleep easy on the bus.

They said ‘Love the Land and Leave no Trace,
So have a bit of dignity
And tidy up the place.
We’ve been partying for days,
So respect the land and leave with grace.

Lisa Goodwin – Glastonbury Festival Poetry Slam Champion 2019